4 Keys to Launching and Sustaining a Healthy Singles Ministry

One of the most difficult ministries to launch and sustain in a church is a ministry to singles or those who have become single again. There are many reasons why this is true, but I do not want to focus on the hurdles. I want to focus on some ways to increase your chances of overcoming these hurdles.

1. Prayer, Prayer, and more Prayer. While this sounds somewhat simplistic and obviously very "churchy" it cannot be overstated. It is important to ask God if he wants a ministry to singles to be launched in your church at this time. As a Education Pastor it is typically a no-brainer for me to want to launch new groups. However, I have learned over the years that it is important for me to launch healthy groups, not just new groups. I have had to close down more groups than I ever wanted because I allowed them to begin in an unhealthy manner. Part of the problem was that I was anxious to begin a group and God's timing was not right. He had not prepared or brought the right leadership to the church. Henry Blackaby in his classic, Experiencing God, reminds us that once we know what God is doing, then we know we know what we need to do. The focus must be on God, not on us! Pray that God would show you if he is doing something in your church in this area and if He is I am sure that He is also raising up the leadership to make it happen.

2. Try to begin with a leadership team. In my experience groups that begin with a team are far more likely to be healthy and to grow than groups who are driven by the passion of one. I just me with two people today on this very topic and challenged them to come back to me when they had a committed team of five in place. That will also help me to see if this is something God is wanting to do or if it is something that these two individuals are wanting to do.

3. Be flexible. If there are any ministries of the church were flexibility and acceptance is needed it is in the area of this ministry. Now I am not saying be flexible with doctrine or theology. I am saying be flexible with methodology. While you may hold some of your others groups to tight and strict standards this may not be the place to be pushy. Often times those who are gifted to lead this type of group need some ability to maneuver around through the ministry to make it work. It can require getting late night calls from single ladies who need help with car repair. It can mean dealing with unhealthy relationships within the group. These leaders need more encouragement and grace from you as the ministry leader than some of your other group leaders. Pay extra attention to them. It can be a demanding, but rewarding ministry.

4. Try to start the group with healthy people. The death of this ministry occurs the day the emotionally unhealthy people outnumber the healthy. Now I know some of you are going to email me and tell me the church needs to love unhealthy people too and I totally agree. It is just that all the unhealthy people can not be in the same group or there will be no healthy and maturing people left to minister to those in need. Try and spread some of the people who are struggling to some other groups in order to keep a balance for ministry. Aiming for health is more important than aiming for growth. Growth happens naturally when an organism (or group) is healthy.

With the divorce rate holding near 50% and people marrying later in life there is a good chance that your church has a significant demographic of singles or "single again". I hope this post will move you to at least begin praying about this type ministry for your church. God will show you when the time is right.

What to do when you get change you don't believe in

God has been teaching me a lot during this past year, especially about politics. I have learned as a leader that every comment I make (whether in jest or off the cuff) can be taken and celebrated by some or it can appear hurtful to others. This must be why James 1:19 (ESV) reminds us to be "should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." So it is with that spirit that I tread carefully into this post.

What should the response be concerning today and the inauguration of President Obama? Well I have several things guiding my thinking today. My first and natural response is to be disappointed. Disappointed because I disagree with Obama on almost every issue (accept for obvious things like stopping the spread of AIDS, and things that most everyone agrees on). I am especially disheartened about his positions on pro life issues. This is extra sensitive to me because I have a daughter who was born at 25 weeks and I have seen first hand the process of how life forms. I know how early babies can be sustained outside the womb. My 25 weeker could still have been aborted in many states and thinking about it angers me.

My disagreements being voiced upfront my second response, and the one I am trying to focus on (especially today) is one of excitement. As a Christian I am so thrilled to see some of Martin Luther King's dream being realized today. I believe the MLK was one of the most influential leaders of the 20th Century. Not only was he an amazing vision caster, speaker, and leader, but he was right on the issues he spoke to (equality and the value of all people). To many times we see great speakers and leaders out there but they are wrong on the issues. MLK was spot on. As Christians we need to love all people no matter what color, gender, preference, or political leaning. We do not have to agree with them on everything, but we must love them. So today is a day of celebration. America has come so far in my generation and I am proud to see it culminate with the events of today. The scripture says in Romans 12:15 that we should "rejoice with those who rejoice." So I am going to choose to rejoice that this stronghold in America is coming down.

My third thought on today is that I am going to commit myself to pray for my President and his family. I know that God is in control and he tells us in Romans 13:1 that "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." 1 Timothy 2:1-2 says "I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness."

With those verses in my mind today I will celebrate this amazing day knowing that God is Sovereign and that his authority is above all earthly authority. I will also pray that President Obama walks closely with Christ and makes wise choices as he leads us. After today I will add one more sentence to my prayer....and please help Mike Huckabee defeat him in the 2012 election.

Changing the Tide of Decline in the Southern Baptist Convention

Recently my hometown newspaper, the Tennessean, ran several articles on the decline in membership in Southern Baptist Convention church membership. To read the latest article check out:

http://www.tennessean.com/article/20090117/NEWS06/901170354

There have been a series of blog posts about this decline. Each post has offered a variety of reasons to why the convention is in decline. So while there are opinions floating everywhere I might as well offer my own into the conversation.

So far the reasons being discussed include: the demographics, the move to a more conservative theology, lack of innovation, too much innovation, lower birth rates among Southern Baptist, and the lack of evangelistic zeal among membership (this one is no doubt true, but I think it is a symptom). While all of these may play some roll in the decline I believe there are two major reasons that the denomination is weakening.

The first reason is that we have lost our first love (Revelation 2:4). We have become focused so much on budgets, buildings, weekly attendance, and having the latest technological advances that we have lost our first love, Jesus. Too many times church staff meetings and church business meetings are spent discussing operational procedures and strategies for increasing attendance or baptisms instead of seeking the face of God for wisdom and revival. For us as a denomination to reverse the trend we must return to a commitment to pray for spiritual revival and then wait eagerly and expactantly for where God takes us (he always takes us out to share the gospel, but we start on our knees). Our ultimate goal is to please God, lift up Christ, and walk in obediance. When we wholeheartedly commit to these things I am confident Christ will build his church (Matthew 16:18).

Second, we have lost our commitment to small groups (or Sunday School). This is not the forum to discuss the distinctions between the two, or the pros and cons of each one. However, either method or model whould help to fill the gap of what we need to reconnect with people. The problem is that many of our small groups have given up on being the evangelistic mobilization arm of the church. We have given that role over to the worship service. The worship service cannot fill this role for the church. It has been effective at drawing a crowd. It has been effective at wowing us with creativity in some amazing sermons and music. It has even been effective at engaging the attention of the people and producing "decisions" for Christ. In many places amazing worship and great teaching is taking place. The problem is that worship only attenders have a hard time connecting to the church and " becoming disciples." The disconnect between a decsion for Christ and the process of making disiples has become visable in most churches. In the past (when the denomination was growing) we had a fervant commitment to Sunday School. It was often times the front door of the church. Many people would come for Sunday School but may not stay for worship. Now the opposite is true. People come to the worship experiance, but won't stay to connect. It is funny how everyone says that people are looking to connect and yet the hardest job of a church is helping to make connection a reality.

The small group is the place where people stick. It is the place where they experience authenticity. Authenticity does not come from a guy on a platform with cool hair or a nice suit. It comes with a dinner in a friends house. It comes from a visit to someone in the hospital. It comes when you are painting a house for a single mom or feeding the homeless together. It comes at a monthly party (or as we Baptist call them "socials"). It comes when we begin to invite lost people into this world. It happens when we invite our neighbors, coworkers, and friends to join us in this venture. It happens when they begin to see us for who we really are...Christ followers who need other Christ followers to us make an impact in this world. And small groups are the best way to encourage this.

For us to turn the tide we need to reinvest in our Sunday School or small group ministry (all age groups). I have always said that the two most important health indicators in the life of a church are the number of people involved in a small group and the how many people are being baptized. I can almost promise that when those two numbers are on the rise in your church that healthy things are happening. When those are in decline than it is time to return to your knees and ask God to help you correct the direction of the ship.

Now I know that this is coming from a Christian Education guy so It may sound one sided. If you have other thoughts about how we can turn this ship around please let me know. I would love to dialogue about it. What few things do you attribute to the decline and what can we do to right the ship?