4 Keys to Launching and Sustaining a Healthy Singles Ministry

One of the most difficult ministries to launch and sustain in a church is a ministry to singles or those who have become single again. There are many reasons why this is true, but I do not want to focus on the hurdles. I want to focus on some ways to increase your chances of overcoming these hurdles.

1. Prayer, Prayer, and more Prayer. While this sounds somewhat simplistic and obviously very "churchy" it cannot be overstated. It is important to ask God if he wants a ministry to singles to be launched in your church at this time. As a Education Pastor it is typically a no-brainer for me to want to launch new groups. However, I have learned over the years that it is important for me to launch healthy groups, not just new groups. I have had to close down more groups than I ever wanted because I allowed them to begin in an unhealthy manner. Part of the problem was that I was anxious to begin a group and God's timing was not right. He had not prepared or brought the right leadership to the church. Henry Blackaby in his classic, Experiencing God, reminds us that once we know what God is doing, then we know we know what we need to do. The focus must be on God, not on us! Pray that God would show you if he is doing something in your church in this area and if He is I am sure that He is also raising up the leadership to make it happen.

2. Try to begin with a leadership team. In my experience groups that begin with a team are far more likely to be healthy and to grow than groups who are driven by the passion of one. I just me with two people today on this very topic and challenged them to come back to me when they had a committed team of five in place. That will also help me to see if this is something God is wanting to do or if it is something that these two individuals are wanting to do.

3. Be flexible. If there are any ministries of the church were flexibility and acceptance is needed it is in the area of this ministry. Now I am not saying be flexible with doctrine or theology. I am saying be flexible with methodology. While you may hold some of your others groups to tight and strict standards this may not be the place to be pushy. Often times those who are gifted to lead this type of group need some ability to maneuver around through the ministry to make it work. It can require getting late night calls from single ladies who need help with car repair. It can mean dealing with unhealthy relationships within the group. These leaders need more encouragement and grace from you as the ministry leader than some of your other group leaders. Pay extra attention to them. It can be a demanding, but rewarding ministry.

4. Try to start the group with healthy people. The death of this ministry occurs the day the emotionally unhealthy people outnumber the healthy. Now I know some of you are going to email me and tell me the church needs to love unhealthy people too and I totally agree. It is just that all the unhealthy people can not be in the same group or there will be no healthy and maturing people left to minister to those in need. Try and spread some of the people who are struggling to some other groups in order to keep a balance for ministry. Aiming for health is more important than aiming for growth. Growth happens naturally when an organism (or group) is healthy.

With the divorce rate holding near 50% and people marrying later in life there is a good chance that your church has a significant demographic of singles or "single again". I hope this post will move you to at least begin praying about this type ministry for your church. God will show you when the time is right.