5 Easy Steps to Kill a Small Group

This past Saturday Sarasota Baptist Church (where I serve as AP of education) hosted Josh Hunt (http://www.joshhunt.com/). Josh has written several books including: How to Double Your Class in Two Years or Less. That book is full of wisdom and insight into growing Small groups, but I want to take the post in a new direction and entitle it How to Kill your Group in Two Years or Less. At first thought you may think that killing something like a group is easy. Not so fast. Look at how many churches are dying, but have not yet been killed. This process usually takes several years even to be recognized by a church (and some have been declining longer than that and are just in denial).

So here we go:


1) Never contact any guests, better yet never have any guests. Never invite anyone and never befriend anyone. When someone shows up unexpectedly make sure you don't talk to them or sit by them. If you have to sit by them make sure you ignore them the best you can without being obviously rude (small talk is okay, genuine interest is unacceptable). And whatever you do never invite them to sit with you in worship or to Pizza Hut after church.



2) Don't really teach anything significant. Yes, open the Bible and throw out a verse to "discuss" but never actually prepare anything. Small groups should really be about talking about stuff that is "real life." Use the Bible only to settle an argument and then select verses out of context. It is easier to prove your point that way. If you can yell at some point during the argument and talk ugly about someones mamma it quickens the process.



3) If there are any announcements that the leadership needs you to make try and downplay them as much as possible. Say things like "here is just something else the pastor wants us to do." Remember that everything in the church revolves around you and your small group. If it does not benefit you or your groups interests then just ignore it, it will go away.



4) Only have seats for the group members (it works even better if they are assigned and someone can actually say "your in my seat"). If you have some guests make sure to make a big deal about having to get some extra chairs out. Also make sure you to bring a ton of attention to the fact that "we have new people."



5) Have parties and do things only with the 6 couples in your group. You should try and have your kids go to the same school, play on the same sports teams and sit only with those couples in worship. Try and socialize with only these couples (except for work where we are forced to hang with the pagans.)

If you do these five things you will be well on your way to killing a group. The thing about it is you will be having so much fun with your friends you may not even realize it.